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There are Many Worse Things Than Going Bald
A Few Hairs Short
Are you one of the many who suffers from anxiety due to baldness? Unsure of what to do, where to heal, or who to turn to? Here’s the truth about losing hair; avoid Lake Michigan in November. Wind is your foe.
Always bring a hat, and wear it everywhere. The rare chance you’re informed to remove it by an authority, do this. Whisper, “yo, I’m a few short,” — the code for “I’m bald Officer,” which nets you no excuse to not follow the order.
Yeah right! If you are told to take it off you do. Embrace yourself. Other’s will see you from their own place of selfhood.
You got a whole hell lot more to worry about than a few loose hairs. The self that you possess is a maze, probably lost and fucked up thinking about sex, but sit tight, breathe and chillax my nice friends — we’re in this together. Here is
The Noble Truth about Balding
There’s no time machine or pixie dust to change that story of fading glory. Home Depot won’t stitch this free-fall. It’s over.
Many Hairs Later
The days of you walking into a room and shaking out your mane — no more. Chanting “Ra-Ra-La-Ra” and slicking back a smooth thickness while pinkies catch your eye, obliterated. But presently, you can drop deuces…
